bay to the czzon

i've just returned from a tour of the south, a little bit tanner and a whole lot fatter. but really, there was no way around it; contemplating a possible move to durham, i had to sample the local goods. obvi!

so i'm here to say that i have seen the north carolina bbq. and it is awesome. same goes for the fried chicken, ditto the banana pudding. but i'll save those for another day.

today i want to talk about something else! as ted allen says, "two words: bay con."

my lovely host andrea took me to the durham farmers' market, which is about the size of the dupont circle fresh farm and, happily, cheaper and less populous. but the true culinary highlight of the trip was a couple blocks down the road.



meet sugar, the vintage airstream sweet-mobile operated by daisy cakes, innovators of cuteness and flava and creators of the bacon maple cupcake.



to my mind, this is a breakfast cupcake. it embodies some of the most delicious elements of that meal in one adorable little package. the white frosting is maple/cream cheese, the "yolk" is orange creme and the candied bacon is....yeah. delicious. so, basically, you have a bagel and cream cheese, pancakes with maple syrup, bacon, and a tall glass of orange juice. in the same bite.

this is a beautiful thing.



they have a lot of other flavors, including almond joy (on the right). i wanted to taste the PB&J, but the siren song of swine was overpowering. clearly. if you find yourself in durham on a saturday morning, try it and let me know what you think!

the roof is on fire

a respiratory infection recently laid me up for a couple weeks. but i'm back in action--and, like a kid in an after-school special, i learned something from the experience!

as you probably know if you've been alive for more than five minutes, not being able to breathe through your nose has the unfortunate side effect of drastically limiting your ability to taste. fortunately, you can still taste spicy food, since capsaicin, the stuff that makes your mouth burn, stimulates the sensory neurons in your tongue.

no nose, no problem:



anyway, spicy food has lots of other benefits, not the least of which lies in its sinus-clearing powers. there's not a lot of empirical evidence for this, but you know it's true, i know it's true, and even some real scientists know it's true.

so in my stuffiest hour, i decided to find some seriously delicious spicy food. my fellow chowhounds came through, as always, with some great tips. multiple glowing (burning?) recommendations led me to hong kong palace, szechuan mecca of northern virginia.

the highlight of the meal was actually a dish i'd been reading about on the boards for a few months: fried chicken with crunchy peppers.



the title doesn't do it justice. the chicken is very lightly fried. it's sauteed with szechuan peppercorns (the numb half of the "numb and spicy" ma la one-two punch that's big in szechuan cuisine), garlic, ginger, chilies and cilantro.

but the special, not-so-secret ingredient that really ties the dish together is the crunchy pepper. these are, as far as i know, not available in the states. they're dried chilies, stuffed with a kind of savory sesame/peanut brittle and deep fried. they've got a little heat, a big crunch, and a sweet nuttiness that makes the dish a real home run. it's unusual and worth the trip. you might want to call ahead, though, as they run out of the peppers every few months in between trips to china.

if you go, try an order of the chengdu dumplings, the cumin beef or lamb, and the snow pea shoots.

impaled!!



they're all stellar, but the cumin (ziran) beef is a definite don't-miss if you're looking for big flavor and a healthy dose of heat.



the snow pea shoots are everything the rest of this meal is not. light, healthy, and refreshing. kind of like a giant palate cleanser. but this is no throwaway intermezzo. they're tender and sweet, with a hint of garlic. you will crave them.


NB: order off the chinese menu, not the white takeout one, which caters more to the american palate (read: greasy/flavorless). also, ask your server for recommendations. these guys are super knowledgeable and helpful. it's actually some of the best service i've had in a while. so, as my pal fatboy says, tip big or go home!

what is the sound of one hand nomming...

not to get all philosophical on your ass, but i have a burning question: what is medium rare? a temperature? a color? a state of mind?

ray's hell burger could stand to ponder this one a little harder.

deceptively angelic:

first of all, let me just say that this burger is delicious. prime beef, aged and ground on site; great cheese selection (epoisse! taleggio! cave-aged amish cheddar!); many free toppings; nice seedy buns. but as much as i'm loving what they're dishing out, they are driving me batshit crazy with their utter inability to cook a burger to order.

i've asked for medium rare and gotten medium-well. i've asked for rare and been handed medium-rare. tonight, i went with rare and it was practically uncooked.

scientists like to talk about accuracy and precision. these are two pretty separate concepts: accuracy tells you how close you are to your target. precision describes a kind of scatter effect; how reproducible are your results?

from what i can tell, the guys at ray's are neither precise, nor accurate. the burgers are way off the mark and there is no consistent bias toward an over or under-done patty. basically, they swing both ways!

this is sad, because if they could just give me what i ordered, they would definitely be serving the best burger in town. on the other hand, has it stopped me from going back multiple days in a row? negatory.

love the atmo, love the high testosterone quotient, love the rootbeer on tap, love the free hot chocolate. maybe we just need a national institute of standards and technology. but for meat.

matzel toff! the nosh the chosen people choose

a very special lady-friend tipped me off to this tasty treat.



it's kosher for passover, so your bubbe will approve. mine have gone the way of the polaroid camera, but my taste buds give this dessert a big thumbs up.

http://www.matzeltoff.com/

available in milk chocolate and, my personal pick, dark chocolate with sea salt. the perfect gift to bring to a seder or swag for your next party.

NOM!

Bienvenido a Miami: Michael's Genuine

There's been a sad dearth of food porn in my life lately, due largely to the even sadder (albeit temporary) absence of a certain photographer. I'm not telling you this because I want you to feel sorry for me; although, don't let that stop you! Rather, I am sharing this information with you by way of an explanation for why I have no digital, high-def. proof of the dessert that I am about to describe.

The best dessert ever.

Did I mention I'm in Miami? Yeah, you should probably stop pitying me now. I'm not gonna lie, it feels pretty good to be here, where everyone is attractive and the temperature doesn't fall below 70 degrees in the daytime hours. It's been a luxuriously long weekend, a merciful post-inauguration, pre-springtime thaw. 

Change is in the air, even in South Beach. In a shocking departure from the status quo and family tradition, food has not been the focus of this trip. As a result, up until tonight, our meals here had been good, but not memorable. Michael's Genuine turned that around for us. Actually, it wasn't so much Michael who did it. It was Hedy. 

That would be Hedy Goldsmith: Pastry Chef, or as I have come to know her, Hedy Goldsmith: Lady Who Is Much Smarter and Better At Her Job Than I Am or Will Ever Be.

Her brainchild: Tangerine "Cremesicle" Pot de Creme with blackberry basil marmalade and hot donuts.

I drew this for you, because sometimes, words fail. This picture also falls short (like, shortbus-short), but hopefully it will provide at least a bare bones sketch of her colorful, complex composition. 

The donuts were piping hot, light as air, sprinkled with sugar crystals and, praise the lord, just a little bit salty. The fresh taste of the basil cut the sweetness of the tangy marmalade. The texture was also perfectly balanced: beautifully plump blackberries were preserved in sticky, herb-infused syrup and topped with slender, delicate strips of candied orange peel.

The pot de creme was, in contrast, incredibly mild, although the rich, creamy tangerine flavor stood up nicely to the boldness of the marmalade. It reminded me of a story I read and re-read as a kid. In it, a boy and his brother help their father make a very special pudding for their mother. The father promises, "It will taste like a whole raft of lemons, it will taste like a night on the sea." 

Lemons, tangerines; apples, oranges; whatev. It was magical.

nava thai: epilogue

i may not be cool enough to enjoy a bowl of blood, but you can't say i'm not persistent! and maybe a little brave. i went back to nava thai, scrupulously avoiding all things porcine, and had the best thai meal of my life. this place is way ahead of the curve. if you know what to order! so let me give you a leg up:

drunken noodles
pad thai
duck kaprao
chinese broccoli with black bean sauce

go now.

nava thai: yahweh's revenge

to quote the ever-relevant john michael montgomery, "life's a dance you learn as you go." well, i just got schooled!

to preface this sad tale, i will tell you that i have been wanting to try nava thai for months now. bangkok 54 is generally my go-to for thai food, but the reviews of this place have been pretty tantalizing. it would not be an overstatement, i think, to say that it has developed a cult following.

wheaton's a schlep, though, so we didn't make it out there until last night. it was a long day at work and spicy street food has curative powers.

the restaurant had just reopened, after a brief hiatus due to an expired lease, at a new location (formerly taverna kefi). it's really an awesome space; lots of richly colored wood, warm lighting, and fireplaces. none of the austerity of your average asian restaurant. anyway, the place was busy for a monday night during a recession! the atmo was promising, as were the delicious smells emanating from the kitchen and from our neighbors' plates.

back it up! on the way there, pearl was doing a little recon, skimming some reviews so we would know what to order. one of these reviews mentioned that the floating market noodle soup, a house specialty, was not to be missed. what made it so special? pig's blood.

TP: no WAY am i eating that.

me: oh come on.

TP: no.

me (paraphrased): seriously? could you be any less adventurous? why are you ruining my life? etc?

TP: absolutely not.

well, i ordered it anyway! and let me just say, it might be the worst thing i have ever had. this has nothing to do with squeamishness on my part. i actually liked that it was pig's blood! so good for my street cred!

in theory.

in reality, it tasted like a bowl of metal. not a metal bowl. no, a bowl of really amazing, delicious soup into which someone has thrown a quarter-pound or so of iron shavings. it was one of the yuckiest things i have eaten in a really, really long time. so much about it was right: strong tangy lime flavor, serious heat, refreshing cilantro...so much more was wrong.

don't judge a book by it's really attractive cover:

anyway, the lesson here is twofold. one: i am a pain in the ass. two: to quote TP, "just because something is gross, doesn't make it delicious."

that said, there were bright spots. they would have been really, really bright, were i not on the verge of retching up a little floating market of my own.

but i want to end this on a positive note, so let me give a nod to some exceptional pad thai:



unless i'm emotional eating, i don't generally order this stuff. it tends to be a little too sweet, too greasy, and too bland for my taste. this was totally different. there was more intensity to the peanut and tamarind flavors than usual; but mostly, it was the technique that made this dish a standout. rather than looking pale and anemic (ha! not me!), the noodles had a deep caramel color and a nice char. this guy is not afraid of a little flame. all this tempered the sweetness of the dish, as did a generous squeeze of fresh lime. plus, the shrimp were not even a little bit rubbery. scoreboard.

anyway, if i can ever escape the wave of nausea i experience when i remember this meal, i will go back for the drunken noodles, which i am guessing are equally kick-ass, for similar reasons. the crispy pork and chinese broccoli with black bean sauce was also off the chain--legitimately crispy and way better than bangkok 54's.



for now, though, i kind of just want to call up the really nice lady who takes orders at B54 and beg her to take me back. because i know she never, ever would have let this happen. not on her watch.

new year, new NOM: amsterdam falafel

2008 brought us sarah palin, frozen yogurt wars, and the promise of an obama presidency. i don't know which was most delicious! what does 2009 have in store?

well, considering the state of the economy and, as a corollary, the state of your wallet...it just might be falafel.

head to adams morgan, where for just $4.50 (tax included!), you can get one of the best deals in town. provided that you know how to work the system.



the small pita, which is not, comes with three piping hot, crunchy, moist and very flavorful balls of garbanzo beans, bulgur, garlic, coriander, cumin, and parsley. unlike some of its mushier incarnations, this falafel has a bite.

i go for the whole wheat pocket, but really, they would be killer with anything.

prelapsarian pita:



anyway, hard fiscal times call for drastic measures! two words: condiment. bar.



yes. your purchase of this tasty sandwich grants you access to upwards of twenty toppings. for realsies! in fact, topping is probably a misnomer. these are actually a meal (or two) in themselves.

highlights include the spicy green relish (hello, jalapenos!), garlicky herb blend (like a gremolata, on speed), pickled beets, hummus, baba ghanoush, cucumber salad, some crazy chickpea thing, roasted cauliflower, and some of the yummiest eggplant around.

best eggplant ever!


what makes it so special? well, it's roasted to a smoky, caramelized oblivion and drizzled with that deliciously tangy, garlic/herb concoction. it's rich, but not greasy. sweet, but not cloying. also, it's free. shazam!

so where's the catch? there really isn't one, as long as you know how to play the game. there are no plates here, which makes it a messy meal (bonus!), but also makes loading up on the garnishes something of a challenge. props to the management for having half a brain!

some tips:

1. go back for more. and more. your instinct might be to put a lot of everything on your pita all at once, but the sad truth is, not everything goes together. your sandwich could end up looking more like an abandoned archeological dig than a meal.

this kind of leads to my next point which is:

2. have a plan. like i said, not everything goes together. tomato, tomahhhto. when in rome. something! try to imagine what will taste good. i know, duh, but the choices can be overwhelming. example: mix the green garlic stuff with the tahini. best. sauce. ever. this would be good with the beets.

3. when you're almost done with your pita, stop--that little piece of bread is your passport to the condiment bar, where you should cover it with lots and lots of eggplant for dessert. or maybe there's no shame in your game, in which case, just bring your own plate!

4. if you get fries, don't dip them in the peanut sauce. also, don't let that stop you from taking it home. it would be so good with satay.

finally, if you're uncomfortable with the idea of an entirely vegetarian meal, just remember: it's not rabbit food if it's deep fried.

clandestine swine

did anyone else read this as pancetta?